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Living in Fear

17 Mar

When 2020 came around, there were many positive thoughts and attitude towards the new year. After all, it’s the start to a new decade, and maybe a better outlook after what felt like a dismal 2019. It will be the best year to come, many thought.

How wrong we all were! Barely three months into the year, humanity has been threatened by a new contagious virus never encountered before: the Covid-19. As such, everything has been disrupted with daily routines being thrown into disarray to circumvent the spread. You could say the whole world has almost come to a standstill with the pandemic outbreak. Unprecedented!

My country has not been spared. With a surge in cases at the beginning of this week, the government of Malaysia has imposed a partial lockdown starting tomorrow until the end of March. Panic buying has also occurred here. Luckily we were sensible enough to stock up our food supplies last week.

It’s as if the virus is a smarter-than-us alien attacking mankind like a gripping sci-fi movie from Hollywood. Always one step ahead to avoid detection, it lurks then pounces on the unsuspecting and weak. The intention: to take over our world and make it their own, wiping out mankind in the process. Horrifying thoughts in overdrive mode here. Shudder…

Do we need to collectively pray for divine intervention and perhaps a miracle to overcome this? Or should it be social consciousness or even civic-mindedness to prevent the spread? I can’t find the right words for this…

Every single human being has to do their part and be socially responsible, whether directly or indirectly to combat this together. The phrase “United we stand, divided we fall” is so apt right now. Otherwise the whole world will be living in fear until there is a breakthrough to fight this infectious virus. When? We don’t know… God help us all.

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Borderless Love, Part 2

13 Mar

It was drizzling and gloomy when we got home. And I had dinner to prepare in the kitchen, so I got things going. Hubby went to the garden and our adopted pet, the Golden Retriever from next door heard him somehow.

The adorable fluff ball dashed out of his house for a quick love pet and exchange.

However the fleeting moment was interrupted. His mom called out to him and reprimanded him for the sudden escape into the drizzling condition. I guess she doesn’t know he’s sneaking out for love pets from us. Heheh… So the poor fella had no choice but to go back indoors. Awww…

But he got his happy love exchange, hubby did too and I didn’t. Shucks.

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It’s a Rufous!

6 Mar

Last week, as we were getting ready to go out, I thought I’d checked the hole in the staghorn for no apparent reason. Suddenly, a little brown head popped out from it and scared the daylights out of me! I think likewise, the bird had a scare too.

I managed to have a good look at the bird as it flew away and can vouch it’s a Rufous Woodpecker. I saw enough pictures of the species on the internet when I was googling up the possibilities upon discovery of the woodpecker. So it’s good our feathered friend did not abandon the hole that he made.

Maybe in due course, there will be a family? We have to be cautious when approaching the staghorn especially when raking the leaves in order not to scare the woodpecker or ourselves in the future.

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Borderless Love

3 Mar

We have a new pet! Sort of… The Golden Retriever actually belongs to our neighbor and he sure is a friendly one. Every now and then, he would come sit at the border between our houses and stares longingly into our garden.

And whenever hubby is out there with his plants, hubby would stretch over to give the adorable dog some love – scratching and petting the head, massaging and tickling the neck, and at the same time, absorb some doggy love in return. I do the same too if I am out in the garden and see the chummy canine.

Once the exchange is over, our adopted pet would saunter back inside his house and we’d go about our routine. I find this unexpected ‘arrangement’ rather therapeutic. While we sometimes long to have another four-legged furry ball to replace our beloved English Bulldog, the thought of the long term commitment makes us rethink again.

So for now, we are perfectly happy with our adopted pet, the Golden Retriever from next door, with his borderless love for us.

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Look at that face, so adorable!

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The Lazy Woodpecker, Part 2

28 Feb

It seems that the woodpecker is a family bird, that’s why it was creating a comfortable soft cavity for a nest! Although I managed to take a picture of it, I could not see the coloring and features clearly. It flew away when I attempted to get closer.

But from what hubby described and a quick check on the internet, it resembled a Rufous Woodpecker, a species that can be found in our region. We could be wrong though. Anyway, this was a male woodpecker and typical of them to excavate a home for the missus.

While woodpeckers may be good for the ecosystem, they do not bode well with nature lovers (hubby here in this context) because they destroy the plants/trees with their pecking. Case in point the staghorn now has an ugly huge gaping hole on its shield frond.

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See the fella napping inside the deep cavity of the staghorn fern? Zzzz…

And after our discovery of it sleeping inside the staghorn that Sunday night, we have not seen the woodpecker since! We wouldn’t mind if the staghorn was used as a nest but to destroy it and then abandon without use, hrmph… I’m not pleased too.

Well, I guess we cannot reverse the situation and only hope the woodpecker will come back to use the cavity for nesting.

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The Lazy Woodpecker

25 Feb

Hubby saw a woodpecker on Sunday morning and he was not pleased. The woodpecker was pecking away at his (hubby’s) prized staghorn hanging on the tree in front of the house.

Now isn’t a woodpecker supposed to be pecking at a tree and not a fern? What a lazy woodpecker, going about his business with an easy soft surface instead of the usual hard wood.

I managed to get a picture of it before it flew away. And the damage to the fern, holy moly… quite a deep hole. I hope the staghorn can be saved.

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Just look at the depth of the hole!

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Spot the Caterpillar

13 Jan

My fascination with caterpillars subsided when there wasn’t anymore to be discovered. Partly also, I’ve stopped going out to the garden to specifically look for them because the mozzies would get to my arms and legs.

The two potted plants at the front of the house do not seem to have anymore caterpillars too until recently. It was discovered quite accidentally.

A rather unusual species this time, see if you can spot the caterpillar. I’ll give you a hint: it’s not green and its scientific name is the Geometridae family.

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Progress After the Food Trail

10 Jan

We have dived straight into our 16/8 diet this week and pleased to say we are holding up okay. There’s no withdrawal symptoms from the change in pattern nor from the diet that now consists of minimal meat/protein, some carbo and lots of fiber.

I have gone back to my usual tea only in the morning before the salad lunches and healthy home-cooked dinners at home, all within the eight hours window to eat and no further intake during the 16 hours except for one night where we had fruit cake and tea at a friend’s.

I am also mindful to move to burn some calories but exercising has been a challenge when every evening I’d sit at my little corner to work on my carvings. I’m not too worried though because this would be resolved once we go back to playing golf.

But of late, the endometriosis attacks have been rather frequent and the pain level ranges, it’s unbearable and hard to do much. The night when we were at the airport, I had to take my painkillers twice in a span of three hours apart because the pain was simply horrible. There’s no words to describe this. Sigh…

Other than this problem of mine, I’m glad to say the both of us have adjusted after the food trail, with our weight almost back to pre-M1’s arrival.

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A Major Disaster

17 Dec

At the end of July, I signed up for my golf club’s Annual Championship tournament which was held for two days over a weekend in August. Looking back, pairing determination with pain was not a good combination to manage. In this context for me, it was dealing with my endometriosis pain with work deadline and playing in a tournament. It proved to be a major disaster resulting in a mental breakdown of sorts. A first for me.

As time drew close to the tournament, I had another painful bout of endometriosis attack. So bad I almost wanted to pull out but I didn’t because I thought I could manage. I thought wrong.

On the first day of the tournament at the Hills course, I was on painkillers to deal with the pain and discomfort to stay focused. I came back with the most varied score ever, being a stroke-play format. It ranged from a two (birdie on a Par 3) all the way through to an 11 on the Index 1, Par 5 (because of two balls in the water). In other words, I had every number (and several repeated) on my scorecard… except an eight though. Strange.

On the second day, the tournament was delayed because of rain and we teed off at the Lakes course after a 45-minute wait. I started off fairly well and held up okay for the first seven holes. But disaster struck by the eight hole, Hole 17 (we started on the back nine).

The humidity in the air suddenly became very thick and I had an unnecessary urge to tee-off harder to pass the pond. Never do that. When you try harder, the harder you fail. I ended up with three balls in the water!

It was a disaster unfolding before me and I was the star of the drama. That morning on that Par 4, I came back with an eye-popping 14! A 14 on a Par 4, worse than the 11 on the Par 5 on the first day. I told myself to calm down and don’t get too emotional by it.

However the next hole, the Par 5 being another fearful hole, my doubts doubled in my ability to overcome the water factor. Remember, this is the feared Pacific Ocean water hole that I crumbled during the 2018 Iron Challenge tournament.

Thankfully, only one ball went into the water. But a silly pull to the left cost me and I ended up with another double digit. Hmm… not good. But I was thinking the worst was over and I can still recover because the front nine is actually more manageable to play. I thought wrong again.

I suspect the four balls into the water rattled me but somehow I didn’t acknowledged this and when I teed off on Hole 1, I put another two balls into the water! By now I was like, WTF?! The legs were jellied and the confidence zilch beyond comprehension and in a blur, another double digit on the Par 4.

When we got to the second hole, a Par 3, I was so sapped of life and when I put yet another ball into the water, I told myself, that’s it. I’m going to withdraw. I’m not a quitter but with disaster after disaster piling up with every hole, the event was becoming a catastrophe of epic proportions and too much for me to shoulder. There’s no point to go on playing. What recovery would there be at that point, mentally especially? I’m just killing myself out there and if I continued, I would end up detesting the game so much and just chuck away all my clubs.

With my mind made up, I took a drop for the third shot for formality but was convinced I couldn’t launch it across the water and indeed proved myself right. A classic case of a negative thought attracting a negative action! The ball dived into the water. Ahhhh…… speechless. The mental state of mind was just oh-so-cruel.

I could not go on, having a major breakdown dealing with playing golf in a championship tournament; I simply couldn’t golf anymore. Immediately after that, I drove the buggy to see the referee who happened to be nearby and I informed him of my intention and decision.

Looking back, I really can’t comprehend what unraveled that morning. The endometriosis pain was suppressed that second morning and wasn’t the reason yet I crumbled so badly. This outing takes the cake over the Iron Challenge experience I must say. I simply don’t have words for it. I sat through the remaining holes with my flight mates and came back with an ‘NR’ for my attempt at this year’s Annual Championship.

Lesson learnt: if and when there’s pain lurking before and during any important golf tournaments, do not try to be a heroine to pair them. It’s a proven recipe for a major disaster because not only the body cannot withstand but the mind simply cannot cope.

So after that last game of the year, I’m glad I am stepping away from golf and will be resting to heal both the physical and the mental to recoup. When the new year comes around, I hope to find love again for this crazy game called golf and be able to enjoy playing it without issues or disasters of epic proportions.

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Last Game for the Year

16 Dec

I played my last golf game for the year on Saturday and it ended in disaster in terms of performance and results. It was a terrible and unexpected outcome considering I was playing decent golf for two consecutive weekends earlier. What happened?

Maybe during those times, I was more focused and wasn’t in that much pain but with back-to-back games each time, my tennis elbow problem inevitably flared up.

Also I guess the lesson of pairing pain and play was forgotten after my epic August Annual Championship experience which is another story by itself. But this time, sigh… The problem was not even endometriosis-related but the tennis elbow instead.

The painkiller I ate before tee-off didn’t help to suppress the throbbing pain. And with every swing of the clubs, the pain became so obvious and magnified, it marred my focus. The tee-off was so short, the short game was even shorter and the putting was just bleargh.

The only consolation though was not losing that many balls nor have a mental breakdown like I did during the Annual Championship game which is worthy to talk about now after so long to finally exorcise the ghost of that major disaster.

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